now the night is near

To think, I've been living in a dream, only just woken to reality harsh and unbearably true.

Maybe things were never perfect, just me, trying to make them that way.

Maybe people were never perfect, just me, trying to believe so.

Maybe times were never perfect, just me, trying to see it like it was.

Maybe I wanted to have a perfect life of perfect smiles and perfect...

birthdays.

I'm preparing for Saturday, not a Friday.

For death, not a celebration of life.

For an unlucky number 13, not of the getting rid of it.

For a segregated, tired OM team, not family waiting to smile and friends waiting to laugh.

For another day, and not a birthday.

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I want to see something happen. Something magical. Something nonsensical. Something so UNBELIEVABLY AMAZING, that I'll believe in miracles again. I want to see that.

Tomorrow.

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and things are getting darker