money can't buy you anything.

not love

not friends

not forgiveness


Because I don't WANT to forgive you.

But God's calling me to.

Yet...

I don't want to do it just to "please God" because it'll be filthy, filthily hypocritical because I won't mean it, I won't, I won't. And I can't change that fact.

Yet I can, but I won't try enough.

I've tried and succeeded with so many others. Zi Xin, I've slogged to understand her and be the best friend I could be. Rei, who understands and understands and understands what hatred is. That black oily disgusting feeling that curls inside and begsbegsbegs to be shown. She knows what it is.

I'm so utterly utterly tired now. And I'm crying and crying and crying, because I can't understand why it's become so much harder now.

When you're young, you can just go "It's cool, right?" and that's the END. You don't bring it up again, because your poor little mind won't comprehend anything other than the phrase "forgive and forget".

Now...it's so hard.

I DON'T want to say it.

But since you'll never say it, I will. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for wrecking your life by never speaking to you. I'm sorry I can't be bothered to say this to your face, because I'm so scared and so stubborn. I'm sorry I spited you every time I could because you just make me fizzle and sizzle and burn inside with hatred.

I'm so sorry.

ANNE IS WANDOM

and thanks to winneh cos I stole it from her.

--

anne is special

I'm sorry but, DUHHHHHHH.

anne is invited out to

everything. She's popular. Or so she thinks.

anne is bored with her current homepage

Hell yeah.

anne is new mayor

Ehh...no. Ash is.

anne is an author

Thanks!

anne is kindly fetched by the trumpet

Whut?

anne is a book


Okay.........................Anne of Green Gables IS nice.

anne is a naughty average girl

Yep.

anne is fast copy

Copier, you mean. And yes, she is!

anne is awesome

DUH.

anne is a bitch

Sometimes.

anne is the greatest

Yeah. Nice to know.

anne is starvin' marvin

Whut?

anne is stuck with him

Him...hmmm...Nah, I'm not.

anne is not a

Child. Teenager, tyvm.

anne is a infant

NO!

Anne is sorry.
~ She says so herself.


Googlism: 'tis weird.



Leti's so WANDOM.

(anne is too)

Anyways. I shall change my FB relationship to Married to HJ. Because HJ is the bestest girl in class. And she's so funny in Geog. How many people badmouth Mrs Koh EVERYTIME she goes by?

Sitting next to Saman got me thinking really. She really likes ________________ and she's all cut up. Aww. I pats you deary.

Despite my otherwise cynical view on love, I shall say that it is an ideal, a hope for the world to be caring to each other. Love may exist, but it takes a HELL of a lot to get to.

[digression]
Look at poor Aerith... Missing Zacky sweetums.
[/digression]

Hope/Rachel's uber nice. I've been lagging on typing out the rest of the next chapter for TLHD for super long, but she doesn't mind.

AND EUGENE LIM ___ ___ (i forgot that), YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR BLOGSKIN WHICH IS MAKING IT SUPERdamn HARD TO READ YOUR friggin' BLOG!

Anne will win against Eugene because she's won him so many times before.

...Lewzer...

1. What is your name : Anne

2. A four Letter Word : Ar- *ahem* I don't know? Ails.

3. A boy's Name : Antony.

4. A girl's Name : Angelica.

5. An occupation : Architect.

6. A color : Armadillo gray.

7. Something you'll wear : Ankle Socks.

9. A food : Apple.

10. Something found in the bathroom: Aerosol.

11. A place : America.

12. A reason for being late : Alarm Clock wouldn't ring.

13. Something you'd shout : (iseethe) ANGELSSSSS (I'llleadthemtoyourdoor)

14. A movie title : Autumn in New York. Sniffsniff.

15. Something you drink : Apple juice.

16. A musical group : A random band.

17. An animal : Armadillo. Aardvark.

18. A street name : Anwhistle Aquatics Lane. Never finished.

19. A type of car : Audi? I hate that!

20. The title of a song : Angels.

prompt: write a letter to someone you think you should spend more time with.

Dearest Zi Xin,

It's been a while, hasn't it? Even though it seems like it's been only a day since we were wearing those dastardly white uniforms and stealing food from the Pantry, and badmouthing Mrs Loo behind her back, it's been at least a year. Mrs Chan was right. I didn't realise I missed 6K until it was all over.

The world sparkles I've learned. There are some many things I see every day, things I want to be, things that tantalize and draw me to them. Things that took me away from you and you away from me and shattered something that I can't really put my finger on. It seems too simple to generalize our friendship in that way, yet I know people change. And I admit it, I've changed.

We hardly talk now, maybe the odd conversation here and there. I wish we could spend more time together. I know you've got Table Tennis, and I have Odyssey of the Mind, and we have our separate friends. Everything's changed, and I feel like I'm the only one staring at photos and wondering why.

Maybe Best Friends Forever was really an empty promise on both our parts. Did we know then, in all our foolish 12 year old mindset, that we would drift apart? Maybe in some other time, when we stayed in the same crowd, we'd always find each other in it, just to talk to someone who really understands.

That sounded pretty sentimental and soft of me. Ohwell.

Lotsa Love,

Anne

falling angel.

You made me love you,
totally,
sweet words
-I wish they were real-
cushioning the cut of lies.

I listen as you tell me,
I'm the embodiment of your dreams,
your attempts to make me
do what you didn't.

I curl up at night, wishing
things were the same as before,
that you still love me,
for me.

I'm a puppet,
telling a story that's not mine,
I can't move on my own,
eternally tied to you.

I guess that's what they mean,
when they said,
the only inexplicable love,
is between mother and child.

I couldn't see.