because it's just a dream

I wonder.

what makes one person consider you a "friend"? what is the definition of "friend"? do friends only count if they don't fight? or are the ones you argue with the best type of friends?

I don't really know now. All the people I called friends now aren't, or border on aren't. I don't know! Dang.

I wish. I wish. I wish.

Why does everything have to be so difficult? Why? I wish, no correction, I wished that I could find everything out. Find out why friends stay next to my heart, but I still let them step all over me, and still continue being myself and taking it out on my family. I thought I picked the better party. I thought friends were worth it.

damn. I'm crying. See lah Winnie. I thought. I thought. I thought...I thought you weren't like other girls. Not like me. I thought I was smarter than that. Want to get pissy on me? Fine. Just be heartened around now. You made me cry. Laugh your ass off.

I thought I knew who my friends were.

when I open up my eyes, I will lose you.