inadequacy

Why go on trying?
she's better
so much better

don't bother competing
i'll just lose
like the thousands of times i already have

i need to stop
stop this mindless self pity

let's face it
the world is unfair
people who don't work hard,
can still do better
working hard,
doesn't get you anywhere

that's the way it is
so stop it
stop all of this
stop trying to make it so difficult

i'm lousy
at everything
the ultimate loser
judo,
ballet,
singing,
even with my friends
my family
why go on?

so please
don't make this difficult
it's bad
this poem is bad
it sounds bad

so let's face it
i'm gonna keep trying
keep slipping down
and i'll lose everything
everything i need to keep going on
then i'll know to stop,
stop myself,
from thinking i can
when i can't

A/N: so that's that...i'm not writing any more poems... thanks a LOT ben...some friend you are...i've just realised, no point in trying, i'm a LOSER, a BORN LOSER so i will stop this...STOP THIS ALL...
i can't believe i'm close to crying...stop that... you idiot, you're a judoka for pete's sake, JUDOKA'S DON'T CRY!!! so goodbye...for a long time...good riddance to me
bye world
anne